'Just Be Yourself"

How many times have you heard this advice from well-meaning family and friends?

How helpful was it when you did hear it?

I am gonna guess, not very helpful!

What does it even mean, especially when you don't know who or what 'yourself' is.

But like it or not, we are stuck with ourselves.

Could it be possible that you are not being 'yourself'?

How can you tell when you are being, well 'you'?

If you're not being 'you' then who exactly are you being?

Are you a Scorpio with a Leo rising?

Are you a mother, lawyer, wife and Christian?

Are you a vegetarian that secretly buys bacon sandwiches when you're on your own?

Are you all of these things, none of these things?

Do these things even make you, you?

Humans have been questioning and studying what makes us unique for centuries.  

We are indeed a curious mix of many parts, bits of emotion, feelings, thoughts, lived experiences, upbringing, DNA, social media, religion, politics and random collisions of parents and family.

Modern psychologists have been putting out frameworks and ideas for at least the last 60 years but a study done by the University of Houston identified four factors that can help you be 'true to yourself'.  

Because we have to start somewhere this seems as good a place as any I am going to share that with you.

SELF-AWARENESS: Being curious about yourself, and aware of who you are, what you're doing, and why you're doing it.

The very fact that you are here reading this means you are curious to know more about yourself.  It always amazes me when people are not curious about themselves!

But hey, that's just me, moving on to number 2 . . . 

OBJECTIVITY: Being unbiased in your thoughts, and accepting the truth about yourself.

This one is tricky, especially in the age of social media where everything is so staged and set up to make us feel guilty for not being 'Instagram' perfect.  

We may not like the truth about ourselves, we may aspire to an unrealistic version of someone else.  A teeny bit of advice - stop following people who make you feel bad about yourself  - follow someone who is trying to save bees, reduce plastic, or helping you feel great for being you!

CONSISTENCY: Doing what you say, and living according to your own principles rather than those of others.

This is possibly the hardest of all four to do when you have expectations from others. For the time being, let those who have expectations of you be real people in your physical life rather than those on social media.

HONESTY: Being able to be yourself and express your needs in the company of others, particularly in close relationships.

They seem so simple and easy just written down like that.  Yet why do so many of us feel uneasy when told to "Just Be Yourself".

In order to be yourself, it would be helpful if you know yourself.

To answer these questions you need to understand your mind, know how it works, and what makes it unique.  

To get a life that is right for you, you need to know who you are, and what you need - otherwise your in danger of living someone else's perfect life!